Home > Uncategorized > I’ve Never Met a Person I Didn’t Like.

I’ve Never Met a Person I Didn’t Like.


When a very genuine person said this to me last night, after a long talk about careers and life, I nearly laughed. Born and raised much of my life in New York and around New Yorkers, I have been taught that cynicism is next to godliness in terms of how to deal with the world. But this man looked at me with wide and truthful eyes. He also said,

“Meditate on this: We hate in others what we would like to change in ourselves.”

I ALSO had no idea what to make of that. But I guess his words got in somehow because I have been meditating on it. Long and hard. For nearly 20 straight hours. I bet I even dreamed about it.

Most people give the same career advice to friends and family that hate their jobs. Have you tried talking about it with the manager? Have you been sending out your resume? Why does it suck so much?

The list goes on. I  have discovered (by being that friend that no one wants to bring up work with…) that it is really hard to say the right thing to us complainers. We have an answer for everything and everyone, and we talk down others attempts at conciliation with rationality. Clearly, we should all become lawyers. (And many of us do.)

This man, who happens to be my husband’s boss at a prominent conflict resolution NGO, is the first person to ever give me such advice for actual thought. I have been making a list of the things that could possibly be true about this statement.
What is it that my manager does that I don’t like (and take extremely personally, and cry in the bathroom about…) that I see in myself?

1) He does nothing. I am terrified of doing nothing.

2) He lies to make himself look good.

3) He takes credit for things that others have done.

4) He doesn’t like to learn new things.

The list could go on, but I suppose that would defeat the purpose. I am supposed to be meditating on the changes I could make in myself, right?

Basically I decided this. I am bad at confronting people, but good at analyzing them. I am bad at meditating on one particular thing, but fabulous at worrying about a whole bunch of them. This man’s advice did do one thing for me that was really interesting. It showed me that it matters little about the other person, and it matters a great deal about you.

You are the person that judges and hates at first impression. You are the person that either cries at your desk or does something about it. And sometimes you will be consistent – and sometimes you won’t. Either way, you will be the determining factor.

I have met plenty of people I don’t like. But I bet they don’t know that, since most of my dislike just sits in my brain. It’s taking up too much space. I’m thinking about some fall cleaning.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Celso
    October 14, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    I wish more people could give the same advise and maybe we would be happier at our work. place that we spend most of our lives . Every week from 9-5.

    Thanks for the blog

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